hmm 9 months since i last used this site.. impressive
heh i wish life has improved in the 9 months and it has.. well sort of
cleared all papers last sem which was good..
and facing 3 quite full on papers this sem..
been busyish these few days with stuff and well not as 'lovely' a picture as i imagined.
have had many things on my mind these few weeks that sigh wish could turn back time and done things differently
i'm intrigued by the concept of holding on
in the song at outreach this song was something that stuck with me for quite a while
very uplifting song especially in this grey area in my life
when ur in a bad/confusing part of ur life.. how long do u hold on for?
till something happens? or till u cant stand it anymore
how long will u wait for something to happen? and if it doesnt wat will u do ?
these are but some of the questions im seeking answers for and they just dun seem to come
how long do i have to subject myself to these thoughts i wonder..
how long will u wait for someone before u realize that nothing will ever happen no matter how much time has passed?
what happens then? yea the ardous journey of letting time heal all wounds..
so wish there was a way to skip this process
would save me lot of heartache heh
laters
APL

yea!! one paper down 3 to go ..
all 3 in 5 days .. haha starts next thur..
paper on a sat.. cant get any better heck yea it can
its andrew lincoln we're talking bout here of course it will get worse
long story short b4 these papers.. got figuratively shot, stabbed, struck with a sledgehammer against a brick wall.. all within 24 hrs
love story of my life so far
keep story short.. was a nice person was iinterested in and well things go well..
then i did something stupid like txt too much
then next thing i know im showing too much attention to her.. i give up ay
this is why im single at 24.. cos i seem to be anti- relationship
anything i seek, ends up getting furthur away..
oh well crap happens.. life goes on and no time to mope exam in 6 days and need all the time i can get.. God if ur listening I really need your help now.. Plz

heh 9 days to exams.. or till 1st paper which hopefully will have 40/70 for internals
hopefully that shld be ok then have a few days to mug for the big 3.. one of which i already have 51.5% of so tats already a pass haha
the other 2 i have have 70% weightage for finals so argh need to go hard out
other than studying for ages in CAL serving has been awesome these few weeks with so many awesome things happening during worship aye.
so need to seek God when i go back to be able to flow and worship the way am supposed to ..
bit sad wont get to see many of my dear friends graduate this yr.. hopefully will try and spend time with them before i head back to SG
On a personal note haha i was praying for direction on a particular situation and to my surprise i actually got sort of an answer to my question only a few minutes later. i mean ya answer wasnt wat i was expecting but it shows that God does listen to prayers. altho what u get may not be wat u expect to hear. other than tat hoping to finish papers so can sort of my leaving this yr flat and preparing to head home.. hang on peeps in SG APL is coming home.. albeit with a bit more weight since busted knee wasnt able to exercise much,, no worries more of APL to love hahahahaha
APL out

man so fast and its end sept.. in couple of weeks nov... then year end
time passes so fast this sem.. seems like only yesterday had to endure first phil lect now have to prepare for exam on it.. oh well
past 2 weeks have been tied down with so many assignments its crazy no wonder not many pple want to do arts.. so many essays and assignments to do .. oh well might as well stick in it and graduate then do something else haha
but guess prob have to start mugging like mad once all assignments are done which should be this week latest..
ministry wise things are going well.. passion for worship got reignited at counted 07 hehe
cant wait to get back into it..
personal stuff haha.. not much new haha ( i know thats why ur reading this blog wahhaa)
or at this stage cos well.. i dunno wat steps to take now.. cos well in past ive never had progress in any relationships and well in this aspect im as new to it as anyone else
at this point just praying hard and seeking guidance.. cos i dun wan to ruin it by rushing or anything so haha will relax and see how things progress..
tats all im saying so there hahaha

well so much for ol' Andrew trick cant seem to get it to work anymore, guess im prob growing up.. it was childish of me to think of tat as a solution to my prob.. guess i'm finally maturing or at least i hope so lol
interestingly enuff i have a fren who shared some stuff with me and some others recently, it was sort of like a testimony of sorts but then again it could have just been his feelings at the time.
In a nutshell the scary thing was that wat he was going thru was pretty much exactly what i had been going thru last yr. the whole partying aspect and drinking aspect was a part of my life back then and it was a norm for me ever so often. it seemed to be fun at the time but as time passed emptiness began to creep in.. heh after a while i just lived that lifestyle devoid of any purpose and was desperate to get out of it but i was kinda drawn in quite a bit cos most if not all my FY friends were doing it. As a result half of my income was spent on alcohol and other assorted vices; ps not drugs tats just wrong stuff .
but it was only after i got back home and spoke to my dad about it was i able to see past all the 'glamour' of it and realized that the emptiness i felt would never be satisfied by partying or alcohol, rathers it's my walk with God and the close christian friends which would see me through this stage of my life and alcohol will never be able to fill that void.
I mean its not easy for sure i have fallen once or twice back to it but thankfully with God's hand in my life, the road has been manageable and thanx to the awesome pple around me, i'm able to stay on course and live a more meaningful life.

hehe mid week in this break of holidays and can say it has gone pretty well so far.. been trying to update on readings and lectures notes but man weather has been pretty good so far except for today other days had nice sunshine. heh last night was interesting cos i sorta panicked after realizing that my intention for going to missions was wrong and well was on the verge of having a major breakdown crisis but thankfully managed to speak to two of my frens one here and one back home in SG so that sort of helped get me back on track. cos was quite bad because my motive for going for missions well was sort of gd/baddish
cos for one i really wanted to go and help other was tat 2 of my frens were goin.
now that one may/is not goin i dunno whether im going for them or for myself..
advice given was to seek God and there my answer will be ..
which sounds valid enuff..
weirder thing is that how can i base my actions on others, i should live my life my way( GOd's way but thru me of course hehe just tot shld add that in )
so at this point trip is i dunno still gotta seek answers and guidance from those close to me.
with regards to " other problems" that arise.. guess have to do and 'ol' andrew trick and buzz off from hehe..

hmm what has been happening.. well its mid semester brk so 1 week to fully concentrate on studying which it wat i shld be doing and am trying to but then again with so much time my dreaded foe has returned.. deep thinking sigh.. whenever i have too much time on my hands this always seem to happen. heh busier i am less likely to bother but this seems to be the trend at this stage. well for one have heaps of readings to do so that shld take up most of time but then again there are its odd moments of self reflection. For anyone who even reads this well , relationships wise haha after so many years being around ,.. haha i'm still quite hopeless at it.. just when i tot i was able to move on again.. something else came in my way.. and now haha that also seems to have a dead end.. so much for finding someone at this stage of my life haha..
Hope its not a sign that ill remain a single guy for rest of my life cos well track record doesnt seem to good at this stage. church wise im having a blast so many pple around that i haven actually had much time to spend with but nonetheless everyone is awesome.. a bit sad that next year many will be gone tho. lifegrp so far is awesome haven had in depth sharing for quite a while so tat aspect is quite refreshing. TAWG wise bit stagnant but trying to improve tat aspect learnt quite a bit last night from night church on how to read and understand the bible which was for me quite useful. hehe
other than tat looking forward to heading home at end of yr and well still trying to figure out how to prepare self for missions trip next year.. so far in a nutshell this has been wats goin on in the life of APL
outz

hehe been a while since last entry
in this time, have had holidays and been up to not much interesting other than badminton and staying over at frens hse whilst getting snowed in
other than tat trying to find stuff to do in winters hard as not tat much job available
and the best part the anti -relationship magnet (ie me) has struck again
however this time hehe i will avoid damage unlike last mishap which lasted me a year.. or thereabouts
or at least try to..
rather than staying and getting closer to the person and get hurt the most when someone else catches her fancy, ill prob do wat ive done before and well has worked for me thus far.. ie RUNNNN!!!!
but honestly cant think of a better way of resolving prob.
ie if theres no hope in it ever goin anywhere, two options, friend which basically means happy for the person no matter wat it is ie getting new bf etc
or errr no generic name for it.. which means u conviniently drift away until their existence means little or naught to u
the right thing to do is to remain or fren route, the usual thing i choose is drift which has worked pretty well thus far.. the thing is would it cost me the frenship
well YA
but then again if it saves u the heartache of being around when she's with another guy
hmm seems quite dummy proof to me haha
oh wells
back to life of a wandering single i guess
sigh..

time has passed so fast just when i had to get used to uni life, its already almost the end of a sem
well not quite but have 4 wks to exams.. am so not liking bcom cos maths really bad so when doin finance topics am dying. so much so will prob drop it as dun wan to fail any subj and risk devalueing my degree. ya it will cost a quite a sum but i find compared to the long term benefits this would wake me up pretty gd which it has..
Life this yr has been more tame compared to last yr
i have stopped goin out with frens and well basically living a more normal(ie boring life)
but its fine cos now i have better things to fill my time with (ie church stuff)
tho im not as active when i was back in CM im still trying to help out in ways tat i can
im also doing TKD tho do not profess to be tat good in it
i suppose in a way i do miss my ol lifestyle but realise its for the better as now i have more impt things to concentrate on other than studies of course
haha the "interesting" subj well i still am hopeless at
i guess one reason why i tried the student lifestyle was to try and fit in which i did but i realise for the wrong reasons
so now im left to be myself .. which haha i admit is not particularly interesting
tho i try .. realli hard hehe
frens wise totally mixing with frens for last yr FY
in terms of tutorial mates well dun relli talk to them much no particular reason why tho
'nice people' there are a few but well after being burned a bit in the past trying to think bout it too much and bother goin after cos if i learnt from experience by the time u actually r interested in someone things can swing either ways gd or realli bad
id rather just be myself(not hard) and let God bring someone to my life. basically there are nice girls arnd me its just tat i dun wan to rush things for any reason but just to have mingle and have fun in process
anyways this shld do for now till next post
Cheerio
APL

hmm been a while since last post so quite a few things to say .. for now well i just finished 3 mid semester tests in a row and tat's as stressful as it gets cos day after u sit for one there's another etc for 3 days straight
only good thing is that i know i realli need to work harder cos was finding it hard to cope with some of the subjects. good news is that after speaking with the course advisor next sem i can switch to a BA in education= teaching.. its totally different from commerce which i found to realise ill be hopeless at. so for now just got to pass these papers to keep the credits..
the wk b4 tat was awesome as my parents were in NZ and had a great time in Wanaka and Te Anau.. Tat weekend as well i went for international service homegroup camp and whoa it was a blast.. i met so many new pple that now i cant use the reason that i dun noe anybody there as an excuse not to go..
met my share of interesting and nice pple which i most of the time dun get to see on sun cos most of them just come for international service on sat
anyways other than the above not much change else other than now i've managed to tone down a whole lot as i've realized that well.. im here to study not to go crazy and have fun .. in the process to find more bout God's Plan for my life which presently i have no inkling about..
other than tat my life is pretty average have good frens arnd and nice pple around me.. life is good
APL

haha in case anyone still reads this dead blog.. well im still alive.. by not much
so far wk 5 in uni and its not bed of roses.. math(finance) is killing me.. am realli questioning whether it was a good idea to do commerce.
well its too late to do phys ed or human nutrition but guess if need be there are other stuff which i can do .. i know marketing may nt have much math but honestly deep down dunno if i can market anything at all.. anyways
weather here is erratic as always..
these days my weeks revolve arnd
mon- tkd
tues- musos
wed- tkd
thur-free for now
fri-lifegrp
weekends still not so bad..
sat have time of fellowship with relatives
sun service( boo yeah) n catch up if possible
socially wise well sorta slowed down since last year
no more parties, drinking etc
suppose its better for me but leaves me with more time ..
somehow life in uni is diff from fy
harder to make frens cos rarely c same grp of pple
tho still c foundy frens.. most are still cool but now tat out of foundy hard to get in touch with others
oh well guess tats the price of moving on..
will try to blog more.. with extra time haha
laters
APL

hehe after 3- 4 months of not blogging im back..
finally moved into my new spacious place and recently have added internet access to it..
will now be able to update blog more often .. mayb hehe
1st wk of uni has passed and well as excited as i was for it to start i have been thinking whether studying commerce is right for me because the reality is that i have a more intense interest in physical education instead but am not sure if would be possible to study it at university level.
O'week has passed and thankfully i have spent my days at home resting and chilling rather than goin out
as the new semester begins i hope to get into a solid routine which will help me keep focused and yet have fun at the same time as well.
will update more soon..
Ciao~
APL

hehe haven updated in mucho long time haha
ive been back in SG since 18 nov and wat have i done.. basically stayed at home cos had to have minor surgery at tan tock seng hospital.. recovery is uber slow and doc said to rest and home so have been homebound since.. prob look for job once i get better other than tat family is fine and enjoying their company . on a good note ive stopped drinking and have basically mellowed down quite a bit.
about time too. awaiting results for FY and praying hard can pass cos i felt it didnt go as well as i expected , anyways other than tat missed quite a few of my frens already.. shout out to Comm A best class ive been in period miss u guys heaps and will need to meet up next year to catch up. so far managed to keep in contact with some of the guys. hmm most of girls dun use msn so tat a bit hard but anyways
time fortunately has been my fren in one particular case.. i have been home for about 2 wks... this time away from nz has i think and hope slowly mellowed some feelings i had for someone who i tot i was close to.. dun ask its just one of those things tat was bound to happen i just didnt want it to. as time passes am sure i would be fine once most of feelings hav died id be back to norm (again i hope this happens). Having fun with my church frens , new pple in and just chilling with those who i consider close to me. this is somethin which i have been waiting for the whole year and now its feels great will update more since haha am stuck at home
APL out for today hAhAAHA

finally just got home to SG and since have quite some time to reflect, time to recap the year in general,
lifestyle wise in dunedin its quiet ... real quiet
studies wise.. for a 2 yr break its not too bad.. hopefully can pass and get into uni if not dang back to drawing board for rnd 2 if it happens
frens wise in dunedin i made many close frens and many ill be proud to call my frens...
relationships wise.. start of year was bad middle was getting worse 3/4 way haha much worse and now.. wat do u think would i be able to get something good from it? haha nice try answers is as predicted .. crap
ah well at least everything has been layed on the table and the choice was made.. as much as i wasnt surprise.. dunno why still felt a glimmer of hope in tat situation..
tat's wat happens , as much as u know something.. it is different when its told to u point blank..
good time to move on APL..
dunno why u bothered to stick arnd to get urself into more hurt but hey im one of those dense one who still believes the impossible until it slaps u in the face..
it shldnt bother me cos i said i didnt care but in a odd and twisted way i do..
But hey im a gentleman bout it and the better man won.. all's fair in love and war as they say..hmm came bak last night and just tonight got into arguement with folks..
as usual i was in the wrong but i was too stubborn to know when to call my bluff.. i guess i will never be able know when to just leave it and shut up and when to fight one..
they were prob rite bt heh so much for trying to be in control of some assets.. watever i've made do in NZ due to my decisions and this aint goin to change much
looks like realli got to work
relationship wise, haha im like a train wreck waiting to happen , the more u wait the longer u realise nothing is goin to show.. oh well cant change tat part of me much but hey u never know till u try
will i apologise prob but not anytime soon..
budget wise heh dun have much say in tat so too bad..

ah 1 wk of study break left then finals.. am panicking quite badly now but well im trying my best and i hope tat its enuff .. in my time here ive made my fair share of close frens and interesting acquaintances. I would realli love to be back next year and hope my rusty brain wont fail me now when i need it the most.. looking back on the frens ive made thus far i can safely say im proud of them.. most of them anyways haha have my share of buddies and circle of those i trust .. and well cant just end of without having my share of well erm.. dunno if they can be called crushes cos im like a bit too mature to have crushes.. haha i wish. all i can say is tat im pretty sure ive moved on cos well feelings if left dead will end up tat way.. or at least that is wat im hoping for soon..
for all those who r hoping ill reveal names etc.. .......... can keep dreaming cos that aint goin to happen anytime soon ..
Friends.. cant live without them .. would be a miserable excuse of a person if didnt have any ,. which is an improvement considering how the past few years ive had like few frens no thnx to my previous experience which i finished in NOV 11 2005.
Just a thought.. do friends actually mean pple who u can remain close to for a long time or pple who under different circumstances would not ever care if u existed.. seriously i have no idea and i hope tat the pple im close to regard me as frens feel the same way i do..
ive gotten to know quite a few pple well and i hope that we'll still be able to be close cos well honestly the start was rough cos i was like err.. more senior than most of them( actually all of them but saying it to make myself feel better and/or console myself that im like a relic compared to most of them hahaha) but thankfully i was able to mingle around and integrate myself into Commerce A which so happens to be the best Class in FY.. and now it feels like everyone is family or close to it..
which is why im concerned that just because we were a tight group in FY would it mean that we'll still be close or as time passes past , we'll drift apart in our own cliches.. ? Bit out of topic cos i would actually need to pass in order to feel that but it still would be the same..
The frens i have made here ,FY DCMFY Elim.. will always be in my heart
Only hope that as time passes, we'll get closer and not drift apart..
To those who i can regard as frens and bro's (sis's dun have dunno why LOL)
i salute u for making this a great year for me..
Look forward to passing and being back next yr(off to pray and mug )
ps mug=study like no day no night

sigh. a month till exams trying to go hard out but lol have a lot of stuff to cover, anyways spring is here and its a bit warmer tho weather still erratic. spending any other available time in lib trying to cram work in.. so far quite ok closer to time not so sure.. time also drawing near to go home to SG. about time too.. getting sick of food here real bad.. cant wait for mum and grand parents cookng.. gotta hang in there for a bit longer.. *break over* back to study.. sad life eh

ah .. its been so long since i last blogged. last time was just to put up pics.. cant recall when i last wrote anything,. life has been crazy, 1 month to exams.. last wk was on break but had 2 essays to do 2 tests to study for and tons of math homework. just handed in 1 essay today and just finished other one( i think). got to start on math hmework and revision soon.. anyways so far i have been ok celebrated my bday last wed and dang it was nice.. not one of my usual birthdays tats for sure Comm A kicks ASS... anyways sigh sad most time i blog is when things are rough but haha this is no exception. have a nice classmate who i help her with work and stuff and i was like eh her characteristics quite pleasant.. and just when i intend to ask her out just found out sat she got a BF few days earlier.. and that just sux so bad.. talk bout lousy with ladies, cant realli get any worse than tat .. other than tat trying not to think bout it too much cos exams coming and hopefully when go back will pretty much forget bout it.. hmm trying to do so now .. not as ez as i tot.. anyways back to books later all
(shout out to anyone left reading this)

hi all these pics were taken last fri.. background had a 2 hr brk and so couple of frens(in picture) decided to go to st clairs. drove there enjoyed scenery i took following pics then went back for class. weather was great.. scenery was too but just went wanted to get pic of seagulls camera batt died so no pic of those birds oh well.. at least managed to take there pics

hi after a long hiatus here are the much awaited pics

ah well its been quite some time since i've been here in dunedin and i decided to sit down and recap how my life has
changed since coming here.. and well sad to say it hasnt been as fruitful as i had hoped. when i say this its not the results or studying cause that aspect has been great.. the problem is how i have developed as a person. things that i have looked down upon and distanced myself from have somehow changed me. and i dun mean for the better
I guess its time andrew lincoln wakes up and realises what has happened..for one my walk with the Lord has sort of stagnated and well im not as involved in church as i used to be back home. On the one hand as close i try to get to God, somehow things will come and blow it off course.. this is not something to be proud of and am battling to try to restore the balance. On the whole as i'm getting to meet more people and develop frenships.. i have seen many kinds of pple here in uni.. the whole student drinking culture is too real for comfort. pple u dun normally speak to will become good frens and well it is somewhat unsettling.. it seems drinking is the few ways of meeting people as absurd as it sounds.. here to pple drinking and smoking complement each other for some weird reason.. relationships wise.. well still same ol.. sux at it so not much change there.. only thing that i wanna bring up is that its true the more u spend time with someone the more attached u feel to the person.. and well in my case it sux big time. somehow things have ways of not working out the way u wan so haha have to deal with the reprecussions. and u'll be surprised how when u spend time with someone many things about them u'll be willing to overlook. from little things to big things somehow pple get drawn in and by the time they realise it , it will be too late and have to deal with the heartache that will follow.. moral of the story watch urself well and for crying out loud open ur eyes when dealing with others. cos i for one didnt and well long story short.. ended up trying to go after someone who back in singapore i wouldnt give a second glance.. but hey its all part of learning.. only exception to this is if pple change but who are u to know if and when they'll change.. recovery process is slow but getting there.. oh yeah back to topic.. altho i think as time passed i feel my values haven changed much certain things have been 'accepted' as the norm here but i guess its time i make a stand and lay my foot down on these. I'll try to walk back into the path set for me by the big man upstairs and hopefully if all goes well when i get back ill become a better person. apl's serious blog over...:)