Been a while since last post.. not anymore.. today was a breakthrough day for me..it is one of the darkest days of my life here in NZ i assume u r frens/family of mine.. if not .. tough

today i got invited to a party. and since it was a time to meet new people i went.
it was fine in meeting pple but after a while things began to turn dark.. pple were getting drunk out of their wits.. and after a while good portion of pple were drunk.. so as i was sitting there eating chips, drinking life(soft drink) some frens of mine came. as i was there with few other frens didnt really think much of it.. wat happened afterwards sort of shocked the hell out of me and was a bit disturbed by it.. wat followed was rounds and rounds of drinking games.. and to me it was disturbing.. pple i knew as nice , cool happening pple just drank and drank.. and it upset me cos these were the pple i was hanging out with daily. and somehow to c this wasnt making it any easier.. as far as im concerned this would have NEVER happened in singapore.. i have let myself down in tat i has lowered my usually high standard of frens and disrupted the morals tat my parents inculcated to me.

Why do pple do this to themselves.. wat good do they hope to achieve by this..
all i can say was tat i was disgusted and angry tat i just left because i knew if i had stayed i would have gotten more hurt and upset..and wats the point.. hanging with pple u think u know and end up when finding out the truth it hurts
im sorry but for me if i cant accept ur morals, i will let u know.. it hurts to be put thru this but why pple do it is beyond me.. there was another reason which really upset me but its quite personal.. but wat the heck.. there was tis gal i liked for a while and assumed she was nice, interesting and stuff.. but when i saw her tonight drinking , having rounds with drinking games.. i began to wonder to myself.. why do i let myself suffer knowing bout tis? i dunno.. wat happen to the values i set for myself bout the ideal gal? i dunno am im afraid cos i let myself lower the standard i have set and now have to live with it.. She's a nice person but.. why does this have to happen.. why did i have to find out tis way. I suppose its better to know sooner not later but then again .. oh well , tat is another thing tat burned me the most..would appreciate any prayers /encouragement during tis dark time for me here.. tats all for now..