An so the day has once again passed in the 2nd last week of the mid semester break.. brings bittersweet thoughts as even though classes will resume soon after finding out my results which were less than satisfactory but were sufficient to keep me here whew.. the reality sets in that i have a lot of ground to cover .. as such will have to get back into the gear of studying even in the final week of the break. to top it off.. this is my second day in my 'new' flat and well even tho i get my space.. to be honest i still have a funny feeling bout this place.. a bit late but its not horrible enuff to regret just yet but other than its price and location, thats all the benefits it has actually the rest are just quirks which hopefully can be resolved asap. altho i save the money from taking a cab home. somehow still find it weird i just pray and hope this feeling will go away.. im ok with staying by myself its just that the accommodation now gives a veri diff vibe which i am and will be wary of. doesnt help this place doesnt have net so actually wrote this blog on wordpad before using uni internet to send it to blog.. sad 5 mths+ without internet at finger tips will be rough tats for sure.. less i stay at com lab but now too soon to say.. ill be honest im worried because given the circumstances i really hope to be able to survive here cos as optimistic i am presently well i have doubts just cant put finger on it
there are points i will miss staying with my aunt and well cons there are .. helped shape decision making process a bit
well in a surprising new feature bout me.. my walk with GOd has had it tough points here.. somehow church integration to elim isnt goin as smooth as i hoped and well up to now still bit shaky in it.. friend wise here have made many good friends and close frens .. altho journey has been interesting with diff characters.. whilst i had more frens in church in SG here most of frens are not from my church,, so i have a vast variety of pple who are quite diff to me in many aspects but have been able to adapt well here . In another bold move on my part to open up.. area of BGR in my life has been well less than ideal as well.. when i first came had a crush but didnt last cos of well overwhelming differences haha.. good thing it blew over reasonably fast.. now well there is someone interesting i know but well basically she's everything that i didnt expect i would fall for in a person.. however given present situation friendship is all we are and well would prob keep it this way for the time being as well , as much as i find her intruiging and mysterious, i have realised that things maynot be all they seem and so now am just taking it slow and observing to see what the future brings.. if things go well, which i hope they do then things may get interesting .However if nothing improves well if being friends is all we can be then its good enough for me. I have made the mistake of revealing feelings i have had for pple in the past and so far haha all have blown back in my face so now am goin to try and be wiser to sit tight. If the chance comes along great if not well that is life. I would rather she not hear it from me and make things awkward as friends cos i will not jeapordise this friendship because of my revelation. So even if she gets attached to someone else.. it wont realli phase me. my only concern and prayer is that she'll be happy and be with a guy of reasonable character and not end up with some jerk and end up getting hurt as eventhough these are beyond my control.. i wouldnt want it to happen to her let alone anyone else i noe.. as u can c this is a weird thing to say but for now its all i am feeling .who is this mystery gal? haha wouldnt u like to noe.. if it is meant to be u'll know if not then well some times are just left unexplained .
haha realise this is realli un-Andrew like but guess in my journey to become a better person this time of reflecting is sort of necessary and well sharing with family/frens is something which i want to do.. even if someone else comes along at least they can read this tragic/ or not interesting blog .. ah well getting late and shld be getting some slp night so tats all for blog on sun 9 jul 3am nz time..
AnDreW