Heh first day of mid-semester break has been awesome so far. Woke up late, then went to beach with foundation friends. After long drive, went there and the sun was awesome.. tried playin touch for abit then got bored and just buried aufar in the sand.. haha good times
Bit guilty that haven started on any of essays yet but guess will spend rest of week doing it so it kinda balances out. Still haven quite sussed out what Im intending to study next year yet and heh looking forward to/ dreading it at the same time.
kinda getting tired of mindless writing of essays and heh cant wait to just relax.. for a while before worrying bout next year haha
church wise.. things are awesome.. or kinda awesome.. cos one of guys pulled out of LG, my LG is currently shelved but heh other than tat other aspects of church still rock. Serving in worship team has never been as fulfilling and really glad and able to grow and serve in this manner heh. Relationships wise.. haha i still kinda have a long way to go from being ready to find the 'one'.
Still have many things to work on and prepare myself for.. and well haha so far process seems slow but heh ill get there... eventually.. i hope.. heh
This season seems to be the season for getting attached.. or in finding the right one for different pple around me. Not that it pressures me much but heh.. personally i know im prob not as ready as each of these people so kinda have no right to be jealous or envious about. wish i was ready now but think that cant happen overnight. so have to wait for it to happen over time.. sigh
so many eligible pple around me and yet haha think i have long way to go to be close to their level/ standard. heh
of all the things which i think im not called for is the gift of celibacy cos well i dun really like not being able to share my life with someone.. so haha call me a sap if u must but tats wat i think.
i went to watch a movie with some friends over weekend , the ugly truth and honestly wat struck me most about gerard butler's role other than him being crude is that he actually helped katherine heigl's character out with her love interest that when he eventually fell for her , he couldnt do anything bout it..
ironically i feel that way that i seem to be able to help everyone except myself.. kinda sad in a way but haha guess if tats the way it works for now. then ill just stick to it. somehow in my view. despite wanting to help pple out. i seem to sacrifice myself and my feelings in the process. the expense of helping others out seems noble but personally its one of the hardest things i have to do.
the price/cost of being APL is alot.. i do enjoy helping pple out.. its just at times.. i wish i could just exist.. emotionally heh despite stigma that men do not have emotions, some of us do and i seem to be one of those 'fortunate' chaps that do. how some men remain emotionless and distant from their feelings seem well at times something that i wish i had. but that cost would mean i wouldnt care about my family, frens which is a cost that im not willing to pay.
heh this from day 1 of holiday.. 6 more days ( and mayb more) of blogging insight to come =)
