hehe haven updated in mucho long time haha
ive been back in SG since 18 nov and wat have i done.. basically stayed at home cos had to have minor surgery at tan tock seng hospital.. recovery is uber slow and doc said to rest and home so have been homebound since.. prob look for job once i get better other than tat family is fine and enjoying their company . on a good note ive stopped drinking and have basically mellowed down quite a bit.
about time too. awaiting results for FY and praying hard can pass cos i felt it didnt go as well as i expected , anyways other than tat missed quite a few of my frens already.. shout out to Comm A best class ive been in period miss u guys heaps and will need to meet up next year to catch up. so far managed to keep in contact with some of the guys. hmm most of girls dun use msn so tat a bit hard but anyways
time fortunately has been my fren in one particular case.. i have been home for about 2 wks... this time away from nz has i think and hope slowly mellowed some feelings i had for someone who i tot i was close to.. dun ask its just one of those things tat was bound to happen i just didnt want it to. as time passes am sure i would be fine once most of feelings hav died id be back to norm (again i hope this happens). Having fun with my church frens , new pple in and just chilling with those who i consider close to me. this is somethin which i have been waiting for the whole year and now its feels great will update more since haha am stuck at home
APL out for today hAhAAHA

finally just got home to SG and since have quite some time to reflect, time to recap the year in general,
lifestyle wise in dunedin its quiet ... real quiet
studies wise.. for a 2 yr break its not too bad.. hopefully can pass and get into uni if not dang back to drawing board for rnd 2 if it happens
frens wise in dunedin i made many close frens and many ill be proud to call my frens...
relationships wise.. start of year was bad middle was getting worse 3/4 way haha much worse and now.. wat do u think would i be able to get something good from it? haha nice try answers is as predicted .. crap
ah well at least everything has been layed on the table and the choice was made.. as much as i wasnt surprise.. dunno why still felt a glimmer of hope in tat situation..
tat's wat happens , as much as u know something.. it is different when its told to u point blank..
good time to move on APL..
dunno why u bothered to stick arnd to get urself into more hurt but hey im one of those dense one who still believes the impossible until it slaps u in the face..
it shldnt bother me cos i said i didnt care but in a odd and twisted way i do..
But hey im a gentleman bout it and the better man won.. all's fair in love and war as they say..hmm came bak last night and just tonight got into arguement with folks..
as usual i was in the wrong but i was too stubborn to know when to call my bluff.. i guess i will never be able know when to just leave it and shut up and when to fight one..
they were prob rite bt heh so much for trying to be in control of some assets.. watever i've made do in NZ due to my decisions and this aint goin to change much
looks like realli got to work
relationship wise, haha im like a train wreck waiting to happen , the more u wait the longer u realise nothing is goin to show.. oh well cant change tat part of me much but hey u never know till u try
will i apologise prob but not anytime soon..
budget wise heh dun have much say in tat so too bad..

ah 1 wk of study break left then finals.. am panicking quite badly now but well im trying my best and i hope tat its enuff .. in my time here ive made my fair share of close frens and interesting acquaintances. I would realli love to be back next year and hope my rusty brain wont fail me now when i need it the most.. looking back on the frens ive made thus far i can safely say im proud of them.. most of them anyways haha have my share of buddies and circle of those i trust .. and well cant just end of without having my share of well erm.. dunno if they can be called crushes cos im like a bit too mature to have crushes.. haha i wish. all i can say is tat im pretty sure ive moved on cos well feelings if left dead will end up tat way.. or at least that is wat im hoping for soon..
for all those who r hoping ill reveal names etc.. .......... can keep dreaming cos that aint goin to happen anytime soon ..
Friends.. cant live without them .. would be a miserable excuse of a person if didnt have any ,. which is an improvement considering how the past few years ive had like few frens no thnx to my previous experience which i finished in NOV 11 2005.
Just a thought.. do friends actually mean pple who u can remain close to for a long time or pple who under different circumstances would not ever care if u existed.. seriously i have no idea and i hope tat the pple im close to regard me as frens feel the same way i do..
ive gotten to know quite a few pple well and i hope that we'll still be able to be close cos well honestly the start was rough cos i was like err.. more senior than most of them( actually all of them but saying it to make myself feel better and/or console myself that im like a relic compared to most of them hahaha) but thankfully i was able to mingle around and integrate myself into Commerce A which so happens to be the best Class in FY.. and now it feels like everyone is family or close to it..
which is why im concerned that just because we were a tight group in FY would it mean that we'll still be close or as time passes past , we'll drift apart in our own cliches.. ? Bit out of topic cos i would actually need to pass in order to feel that but it still would be the same..
The frens i have made here ,FY DCMFY Elim.. will always be in my heart
Only hope that as time passes, we'll get closer and not drift apart..
To those who i can regard as frens and bro's (sis's dun have dunno why LOL)
i salute u for making this a great year for me..
Look forward to passing and being back next yr(off to pray and mug )
ps mug=study like no day no night

sigh. a month till exams trying to go hard out but lol have a lot of stuff to cover, anyways spring is here and its a bit warmer tho weather still erratic. spending any other available time in lib trying to cram work in.. so far quite ok closer to time not so sure.. time also drawing near to go home to SG. about time too.. getting sick of food here real bad.. cant wait for mum and grand parents cookng.. gotta hang in there for a bit longer.. *break over* back to study.. sad life eh

ah .. its been so long since i last blogged. last time was just to put up pics.. cant recall when i last wrote anything,. life has been crazy, 1 month to exams.. last wk was on break but had 2 essays to do 2 tests to study for and tons of math homework. just handed in 1 essay today and just finished other one( i think). got to start on math hmework and revision soon.. anyways so far i have been ok celebrated my bday last wed and dang it was nice.. not one of my usual birthdays tats for sure Comm A kicks ASS... anyways sigh sad most time i blog is when things are rough but haha this is no exception. have a nice classmate who i help her with work and stuff and i was like eh her characteristics quite pleasant.. and just when i intend to ask her out just found out sat she got a BF few days earlier.. and that just sux so bad.. talk bout lousy with ladies, cant realli get any worse than tat .. other than tat trying not to think bout it too much cos exams coming and hopefully when go back will pretty much forget bout it.. hmm trying to do so now .. not as ez as i tot.. anyways back to books later all
(shout out to anyone left reading this)

hi all these pics were taken last fri.. background had a 2 hr brk and so couple of frens(in picture) decided to go to st clairs. drove there enjoyed scenery i took following pics then went back for class. weather was great.. scenery was too but just went wanted to get pic of seagulls camera batt died so no pic of those birds oh well.. at least managed to take there pics

hi after a long hiatus here are the much awaited pics

ah well its been quite some time since i've been here in dunedin and i decided to sit down and recap how my life has
changed since coming here.. and well sad to say it hasnt been as fruitful as i had hoped. when i say this its not the results or studying cause that aspect has been great.. the problem is how i have developed as a person. things that i have looked down upon and distanced myself from have somehow changed me. and i dun mean for the better
I guess its time andrew lincoln wakes up and realises what has happened..for one my walk with the Lord has sort of stagnated and well im not as involved in church as i used to be back home. On the one hand as close i try to get to God, somehow things will come and blow it off course.. this is not something to be proud of and am battling to try to restore the balance. On the whole as i'm getting to meet more people and develop frenships.. i have seen many kinds of pple here in uni.. the whole student drinking culture is too real for comfort. pple u dun normally speak to will become good frens and well it is somewhat unsettling.. it seems drinking is the few ways of meeting people as absurd as it sounds.. here to pple drinking and smoking complement each other for some weird reason.. relationships wise.. well still same ol.. sux at it so not much change there.. only thing that i wanna bring up is that its true the more u spend time with someone the more attached u feel to the person.. and well in my case it sux big time. somehow things have ways of not working out the way u wan so haha have to deal with the reprecussions. and u'll be surprised how when u spend time with someone many things about them u'll be willing to overlook. from little things to big things somehow pple get drawn in and by the time they realise it , it will be too late and have to deal with the heartache that will follow.. moral of the story watch urself well and for crying out loud open ur eyes when dealing with others. cos i for one didnt and well long story short.. ended up trying to go after someone who back in singapore i wouldnt give a second glance.. but hey its all part of learning.. only exception to this is if pple change but who are u to know if and when they'll change.. recovery process is slow but getting there.. oh yeah back to topic.. altho i think as time passed i feel my values haven changed much certain things have been 'accepted' as the norm here but i guess its time i make a stand and lay my foot down on these. I'll try to walk back into the path set for me by the big man upstairs and hopefully if all goes well when i get back ill become a better person. apl's serious blog over...:)

its finally thursday.. can feel weekend upon me.. gd time to.. been given so many assignments its not funny.. have gotten some pics from ski trip to queenstown from some frens(mine not saved onto usb just yet so have to wait while longer while i figure out how to do so frm my cam. sch wise has been like i said tough and busy but its still better than staying home wonder wat to do. been spending some time studying with frens at hostel so its been good.. room wise still messy but liveable.. haven cooked proper meal since moving in and well looking at the kitchen doubt i ever will at least here anyway.
frens wise still quite good but lol if only life was tat simple where everything is so peaceful.. haha oh well.. no one ever said life is smooth..
one of my close frens recently got hooked up and well i am supposed to feel happy for person but well opposite is tru.. feel glad for them bt at same time feel like crap for watever reason.. now dilemma is whether to just be there and stay silent or just mind my own biz and left it drift away( i dun exactly mean drinking myself silly altho tat is tempting haha..
cos wat i am sure is that looking at things are now.. frenship will never go anywhere cos generally one pple get attached they seem to drift away from frens.. so contemplating speeding the process since i wont lose much cept mayb herfrenship which one looking back has been well ok.. more time to contemplate this aspect of life and well tis is part tat sux.. next post will be of pics from trip from frens
enjoy

ah.. sigh back to sch tmr.. just got back from ski trip to queenstown and it was a blast had a great time took some nice shots and just hung out with my classmates and frens much more so it was all good will try to upload pics onto site soon. now the tough part comes, which is to crank up the engine to get back into study groove once again.. other than tat 2nd sem has been more intensive work wise and starting to get back on right track.. relationships wise.. still sux in tat dept.. but guess in order to set myself back on track and carry on with life, drastic times call for drastic measures.. wat do i mean? still working on tis aspect cos as much i as dun wan to resort to wat i had to do in spore.. the situatiion may call for it to be done one last time,, stil in the dark? oh well just my way of dealing with relationship probs no big deal.. ah yeah where was i.. have quite a few assignments and presentations due so have started to work on them now so that closer to time i wont be so stressed.. for now cant think of anymore to write about so ill leave more time for inspiration to come.. Cheers for now
APl

An so the day has once again passed in the 2nd last week of the mid semester break.. brings bittersweet thoughts as even though classes will resume soon after finding out my results which were less than satisfactory but were sufficient to keep me here whew.. the reality sets in that i have a lot of ground to cover .. as such will have to get back into the gear of studying even in the final week of the break. to top it off.. this is my second day in my 'new' flat and well even tho i get my space.. to be honest i still have a funny feeling bout this place.. a bit late but its not horrible enuff to regret just yet but other than its price and location, thats all the benefits it has actually the rest are just quirks which hopefully can be resolved asap. altho i save the money from taking a cab home. somehow still find it weird i just pray and hope this feeling will go away.. im ok with staying by myself its just that the accommodation now gives a veri diff vibe which i am and will be wary of. doesnt help this place doesnt have net so actually wrote this blog on wordpad before using uni internet to send it to blog.. sad 5 mths+ without internet at finger tips will be rough tats for sure.. less i stay at com lab but now too soon to say.. ill be honest im worried because given the circumstances i really hope to be able to survive here cos as optimistic i am presently well i have doubts just cant put finger on it
there are points i will miss staying with my aunt and well cons there are .. helped shape decision making process a bit
well in a surprising new feature bout me.. my walk with GOd has had it tough points here.. somehow church integration to elim isnt goin as smooth as i hoped and well up to now still bit shaky in it.. friend wise here have made many good friends and close frens .. altho journey has been interesting with diff characters.. whilst i had more frens in church in SG here most of frens are not from my church,, so i have a vast variety of pple who are quite diff to me in many aspects but have been able to adapt well here . In another bold move on my part to open up.. area of BGR in my life has been well less than ideal as well.. when i first came had a crush but didnt last cos of well overwhelming differences haha.. good thing it blew over reasonably fast.. now well there is someone interesting i know but well basically she's everything that i didnt expect i would fall for in a person.. however given present situation friendship is all we are and well would prob keep it this way for the time being as well , as much as i find her intruiging and mysterious, i have realised that things maynot be all they seem and so now am just taking it slow and observing to see what the future brings.. if things go well, which i hope they do then things may get interesting .However if nothing improves well if being friends is all we can be then its good enough for me. I have made the mistake of revealing feelings i have had for pple in the past and so far haha all have blown back in my face so now am goin to try and be wiser to sit tight. If the chance comes along great if not well that is life. I would rather she not hear it from me and make things awkward as friends cos i will not jeapordise this friendship because of my revelation. So even if she gets attached to someone else.. it wont realli phase me. my only concern and prayer is that she'll be happy and be with a guy of reasonable character and not end up with some jerk and end up getting hurt as eventhough these are beyond my control.. i wouldnt want it to happen to her let alone anyone else i noe.. as u can c this is a weird thing to say but for now its all i am feeling .who is this mystery gal? haha wouldnt u like to noe.. if it is meant to be u'll know if not then well some times are just left unexplained .
haha realise this is realli un-Andrew like but guess in my journey to become a better person this time of reflecting is sort of necessary and well sharing with family/frens is something which i want to do.. even if someone else comes along at least they can read this tragic/ or not interesting blog .. ah well getting late and shld be getting some slp night so tats all for blog on sun 9 jul 3am nz time..
AnDreW

greetings to whoever still reads this.. have been dead quiet here first of exams and now becos its too boring with nothing to do i have decided to revive this pretty much dead blog.. well not tat i have anything better to do anyway.. miss spore so much cos here there's absolutely nothing to do unlike spore where is a city tat never sleeps.. counting months till i return and go wild(in a manner of speaking at least) ..
The prev posts was taken on sun , it was a fishing trip with me and my uncle from singapore. he was teachig me how to fish and the little thing in the bag is a small fish i caught but released cos was too small to be worth cooking.. oh well u win some u lose some.. and at a point in my stay where im a bit anxious cos firstly i may be moving to flat out by myself and secondly cos im not sure if i can make it to the 2nd sem .. the reasons are as follow's the papers were much harder than i expected so as prepared as i was.. somehow seemed a bit below standard.. so praying like mad tat will get thru and now have been looking arnd for place cos taking a 10 buck cab right when i want to go home at night is not veri fun.. not to mention cold standing waiting for it to arrive.. ah well other than tat same old same old trying to lose weight but dumb cold not making it any easier. option is when flat out since cant cook well prob end up eating less and will still lose weight only not by choice haha .. anyways will blog again soon when boredom strikes(which is prob tmr) later all
ApL(frozen in DnD)

haiz.. 4 down 2 to go.. exams i mean.. been so busy with papers haven blogged in a while.. anyways since 2 more to go gonna to have to go all out cos past few papers have been hard and lol a bit worried may not make it.. which will be sad considering realli wanna do well and get to uni.. holidays are coming up as well but for now have no idea wat to do am hoping to be able to travel and take some pics cos site a bit sparse now. wil input some pics from my class dinnner.. erm quite some time ago but haven had chance to post them.. here are a few
of them

sigh... today official marks the time left before exams to a week.. 7 days of all out mugging.. not fun but for desperation sake i gotta.. well for all those who think i didnt study.. i did just didnt memorise them well now its time to memorise them. cos for a few of my subj's i know generally wat its about hard part is to get into details which can be a bit hazy..Winter has set it and well only few days and im already missing spore heat and sun.. woke up tis morning freezing while wearing 3 layers of clothing..(ok fine fine they were quite thin layers)
gd thing is tat ive started studying in lib.. bad thing is i have transport probs cos stay a bit too far away.. anyways taking time to update blog before exam and hopefully will have time to update it again soon later
APL

Morning World.. anyways a new day to face new things.. from a fresh perspective(and a few hrs to slp on it) well honestly from a purely christian perspective.. i shld just take it and learn from it.. so as crappy as i feel and stuff i guess i will always be the dumb sucker who cares for others whether they appreciate it or not.. guess its in built in my dna.. just figured no matter how some treat u.. in the long run it;ll pay off.. anyways so off to farmers market then to choir then to badminton then to study grp then to dinner at aunts frens house.. wow quite a day if u ask me but at least can reflect on events that have occured lately.. Guys in singapore in CM.. miss u guys heaps

Ol' Reliable A-P-L

Haah.. after few days, finally decided time to update blog(yeah yeah andrew's getting slack.. must be the cold) its getting real cold here in dunedin.. but haha still no where near full on in winter... things getting busy as exams in less than a month.. started revision but lol its realli a lot to cover will be attempting to go full on for alll my subjects.. other than tat so far nothing realli fascinationg happening here other than mugging and trying to keep warm.. and lose weight but seems impossible as colder it gets more seem to eat to keep warm.. anyways pretty much settled here tried to get used to weather but easier said than done.. am hoping wont get to freeze cos as muc i wan to c snow i wan to survive to go home and enjoy xmas.. haven been able to add pics cos well have pretty much been stuck here.. and im not the sort of person who takes pics of myself and well i my opinion hah will never b.. rather be photographer than subject.. wil try to update more but hah since exams here have to actually put more work in so yeah bookworm andy coming soon
till next post peace out

whew thnx heaven its fri haha the weekend is upon us.bout time too almost dying in economics cos replacement teacher realli bites.. for some reason she seems to enjoy picking me to ask me stuff which i have no idea bout thnx to her "interesting " way of teaching.. hang in there... 1 more week b4 king of econs simon gets back then haha bye bye evil lady.. gives me more incentive not to attempt any more econs after tis.. well tat remains to be seen tho

other than tat week was quite ok with few interesting moments but overall it was tiring. am starting to get stressed cos exams are in bout a month.. so haha now panicking but frantically goin thru my work.. no more slacking arond time to work till wee hours of morning(as if i can survive anyway)
anyways since pretty much stuck in here maynot have many more pics to show but will post some of asean nite which was quite a big sucess and which i had part(albeit small) to play in .. good thing is im not in tat many photos and trust me its better for us all. u'll c why when i post pics

(bad hair day)...

Wil post again asap ..Ciao

hi these are some of the pics taken from my trip to fiordland enjoy ;)

sigh.. in case ur wondering wat im doin at home blogging on a sun morning cos i've come down with a cough and well i've been advised to stay home and keep germs to myself.. which would be a good cept for the fact that i have never missed church as far back as i can remember.. Even in Trinity if i was slightly sick i would still attend but well in this case not really up to me. Was encouraged to stay home.. so well no use trying to change anything. Prob listen to sermons online and listen to worship cd's as a substitute (even if it is a bad replacement). well easter brk is pretty much over and well time to start goin all out for studies . no more taking things easy i have a lot at stake and have no intention of messing it up. Hard to believe a week of rest has passed so fast. Gotta start getting ready for school and switch back to studyin mode. This term is much shorter than the first so there'll be a lot more at stake so for my sake better not screw it up. however something has come to my attention which i feel like posting.. well basically i have no idea who actually reads this but heck those that noe me know im a pretty average person who believes God and takes things pretty seriously. However since coming here i feel something has changed bout me. To be honest i have no idea what it is but i know something has changed and well still unsure if its for better or worse. Its not my core values that have changed cos i still take them veri seriously. But deep down.. i know something is diff and well have to find out what it is ASAP. all i know is that i dun feel as connected to TCC as i feel at Elim.. somehow in TCC everione seemed friendlier.. dun get me wrong pple in elim r friendly its just tat.. for me after service at TCC is time where can fellowship with frens but here in elim after service pple break into their smaller cliques and disappear so in the end im left standing like a blooming fool.. it could be just me but in the terms of hanging out with fellow believers this is one of the biggest things i miss about TCC.. but elim has its strong points for one the worship is good .. cell wise or lifegroup wise. well its all right tho still getting used to all guy all girl cell settings.(haha its gonna mess with my system when i return)
i still read the word and pray but still the whole setting here in dunedin i find highly strange and well even after being here for nearly 5 months still not as settled as i would like to be. ah well prob think and reflect bout it and will post thoughts here..

Hey to whoever reads tis
am currently packing for trip to fiordland aka milford sounds.. heard from frens scenery is nice so looking forward to trip.. hopefully it'll be a nice trip cos well its taken up good portion of my restful brk lol.. anyway here are some pics that i have taken recently

hi all just to update whoever reads this.. i am currently on easter brk(yeah no sch)
.. am currently basically lazing round but will goin on a trip on fiordland or milford sound on tues till thur . organised by Foundation Year so looking forward to it.
Reasonable good news is that so far in first sem i have managed to be quite well (in my opinion that is) i managed to get 7.7 GPA which to me is ok but not for long intend to hit 8 soon . so for now on brk but will start hitting the books soon.. wan to prove to myself that i can still study. Thnkfully had made quite a few frens here so lol have been quite busy past few nights but will prob stop soon to concentrate on studies more. That said i'll still go out but mayb not tat much cos my priority is to move on to uni so yeah full steam ahead .. but for now taking it ez cos have been quite busy past few weeks of sch
well here in nz surprisingly everything closes most of time on fri and sun. so on these days there're like no buses so transportation has been bad.
have had to walk 1 hr out from home a few times but well good exercise for me as feel myself gaining A BIT of weight.. but hah no excuse to get fat so prob help to burn off a bit
things have been quite ok adapting reasonably well but the weather is quite hard to predict so have had my share of freezing my rear off cos didnt think it would get cold suddenly..
miss family and frens in spore quite a bit cos well frens i make here are great but still miss everyone loads.. looking forward to return in 7 months.. anyway till next entry have a gr8 brk to al;l
ANdReW OuT

greetings to whoever reads my blog.. erm not sure if anyone does but yeah so far been quite a busy week cos had to prepare nz studies test and presentation.. other than tat FY has been ok .. had a class dinner with tutor . julie and well its was quite fun.. had bbq chix but for me its weird that didnt have much of appetite.. for those who know me well that happens really rarely.. anyways after tht headed to play pool with frens but ended up being thrashed 6-1 for some reason.. (too long haven played i guess) but it was a good time had fun time with frens.. and yeah so i feel it was a sucess .. other than tat did quite well for mid - sem tests other than maths which i really sux at. but yeah looking forward to trip to fiordland and will share ppics when can.. so other than tat things are goin well here miss everyone in spore lots.. will update soon
ANdrew

hi all.. hmm must be wondering why am im posting at 220 AM
well simple reason came back from frens birthday party and tho sad to say it i was bored out of my wits.. it was to celebrate my fren yusiof's bday that had passed on tues. on the whole gathering other than him i only knew 5 other pple from foundation. Rest of pple have never met before.. somehow i felt it was quite a quiet and uneventful evening and hopefully this wont happen again if not ill prob quit the whole b-day party thingy.. other than tat wk has been ok and so far managing ok as well in sch.. hope rest of weekend will be more interesting
ANDREW out

hard to believe have been away for 4 months already.. ah well pretty much settled into life here quiet and even more quiet.. miss singapore loads.. work is getting harder each wk and so busy and can get quite stressed not funny anymore.. other than tat things have been pretty good.. haven blogged much cos nothing much to rant and rave about haha as u can prob tell most of previous posts were loads of junk so they're pretty redundant after a while.. have some pics but have yet to upload them just yet.. gotta vet thru them first cos well i like taking pics of things and people but not of myself. anyhows.. for now thats bout it gotta prep for sch laterz

Ah ok. I can now say I’ve tried to use the new approach to my predicament and well surprise surprise it sucks bad.. Initially in theory it turned out quite well but somehow after more brainstorming.(ie time to think and reflect ps damn really have quite a lot of chances to do tat) realized tat it is not going to work and there is no point in me deluding myself otherwise.. There is only so much a person can do as a friend and beyond that it’ll just seem like nagging so I’ve come to a decision..
On another note I’ve noticed that once strong feelings for someone r birthed, there are two possible outcomes.. 1 is good the other is bad.. Good is that u can be there as a friend and hope the person makes the right decisions in general. Basically care for person etc.. blah blah blah sorta like nagging but as a friend.. The other which is commonly used by some is the somewhat cruel & harsh method of breaking contact , distancing self and in a nutshell leaving the person totally to live their own life with no interference whatsoever.
Of these two both are highly debatable and there are pro’s and con’s for both.. but there is no clear better choice.. The choices are both tough and thought somewhat hard on a person but sometimes when nothing can be done.. it does seem to be feasible.. Plus point for good option is that you can continue to be there as support for person if the need arises.. The bad point is that if things go bad.. you’ll be hurt as well cos of how close u are to person.. Plus point for bad outcome.. well basically nothing that happens to the person will phase u for the simple and logical reason.. it doesn’t matter to u anymore.. the choice has been made and well u have decided that no point in u continually getting hurt by what happens to fren. Bad point is well, .. erm.. haha up to this stage haven thought about the bad point of it yet so its still under works.
But the main thing of the choices u make is how your future friendship with the person will go on.. If good choice then you can be a close fren, confidant etc.. ps that means if fren goes thru hurt well so will u
If bad choice everything is gone.. so whether the person is happy, sad or whatever just doesn’t mean anything.. u have lost a friend fullstop
So the debate continues to go on which is more suitable for u?.
Can u bear to be on good terms with the person ie being happy with person, close friendship stuff like tat?
Or will u choose other path(not easier by a longshot) and just fade into the background and disappear from person ‘s sight
Two choices which have to made.. Which one will U choose..
I have no idea(for once) cos when faced with this situation.. I cant seem to decide. Which would mean more to me, my friendship with person or the peace of mind knowing that nothing the person can ever do will ever affect me again..
For once I leave the options there and hope the choice I make will be the right one
Nite

Hi there all who read or just stumbled across this blog by accident.. this is just the life of a erm.. mature student in uni of otago foundation yr..
Ah well work week is finally over .. and not a moment too soon.. we received news that we’ll have to sit for 2 test next wk acc’s and nz studies.. oh well all the life of students I guess. Anyways other than sch .. its been almost one week since.. incident happened and things are pretty much back to normal..
Now I view people a bit differently but not in a bad way.. just gotta be careful and watch how things happen.. misunderstandings have been cleared up and well most of life is back to normal.. guess for some people being frens only would be good for some pple and well reality is things change around us daily.. only thing tat I hope doesn’t change will be the friends u have.. for that reason I decided to bury the hatchet will person I was ranting and raving bout.. if u read wat I said then.. well stuff it cos im sick of way I’ve been handling stuff and its time for a change.. heck its not goin to be easy but since when is anything suppose to be ez. Frens are there when things are good and bad.. and most will last u when things get shitty.. so for tat im attempting to change the way I view stuff and hopefully it works this time… if for some reason it doesn’t work and I fall back to old ways. At least can say I’ve tried it and it didn’t work.. till then I will just be there as what I can or mostly as who I am.. heck may not make a bf but want to make a good friend.. this is my post for tonight.. quite mild but live with it if not ? beat it.

Hi HI all
ApL here will start blogging more often.. (even if i dun noe how many read it and seriously i dun really care cos most of u wont even noe me anyway..)
but heck writing is quite theraputic so wat the heck will give it a shot.
Sch today was pretty good..short but good.
and had my first lesson at jap class.. was interesting but if im to be serious bout it prob will take some work..
hmm.. other than tat next week had shitloads of work so prob will start doin them soon
hmm for now nothing else interesting but prob add some pics to give site more life

ah well back here again..to write another entry.. in case u have guessed for now.. i was pretty ticked out in previous post bout someone who was a liar and no good and all tat stuff
ah well my anger phase has ended and relatively sane self has taken control of body.. anger got tired and went home
so yeah im now pretty much calmed down and settled.. so well here goes. nothing much to think bout for my side cos basically all i previously wrote was written under influence of Anger.. and quite a bit of it too i must say.. i went ballistic and somewat philosphicall.. haha so rare cant even spell it.. anyways the brain has returned from desert and is now in control.. wat can i say Anger is something which i have quite a bit of(unfortunately.. damn) gd thing is tho it doesnt seem to last as long as i would like,, well cos i seem to never get angry most frens mayb not but my family sure knows bout it.. anyways basically things happen, pple change relationships flourish and bloom, only sane thing i said is tat no one can do anything bout it.. as true as tat is there can be a plus side to it.. wat it is i dunno and haven reached tat level of enlightenment to figure tat out.. anyways in nutshell pls pls dun folo anything i have said.. if u do i wont be responsible for wat happens.. i merely wrote tat under influence and anger if ur smart enuff to folo tat then good on u its merely to vent steam and to relax.. and talk crap
so in another nutshell.. ermm er.. haha tune in soon? lol

hahaha just when i tot things couldnt get any worse.. woo hoo they did..
think bout it this way.. how would u feel if someone u trusted and felt close to told u a lie and u just found out bout it?? well it could be to protect u so u may think.. i say its BUllShit.. A lie is a lie no matter how big,small major or not its a lie even if its to protect someone. so just imagine how would u deal with it.. give up? well to me its plain if the person could lie to u now.. wat makes u think they couldn't have done it in the past? how would u even know if everything tat they have said to u is the truth or just something they want to to hear. just when u tink u know someone shit like this comes out and makes u wonder. Certain pple can be trusted while others take a while.. but wat of those pple who pretend to be ur free and when u least expect it stab u in the back? how do u detect the truth from the lies.
for all u know someone can seem kind, nice cheerful? how much do u really know of the person.. heck for all u know they could be nasty , rude and other stuff i shall not mention.. how will u know?..
GOod news is u don't.. u have to take their word for it. And if im not wrong tats exactly wat they wan u to do .. wats to stop them for seeming nice at first then when u begin to open up, they treat u like crap.
I'll tell u ..nothing u or I can do can change much..
This realli is unlike me but i've come to a point where (sorry to all who noe me) Im really pissed off and tired of So called friends who seem to only last a while.. And when they're tired of u or u have amused them enuff discard u..

oh ya to note when u lie to protect someone from the truth.. it mayb alright to u but have u ever considered wat the person might feel? wouldnt they want to know and as a fren why r u covering up for them.. Wat seemingly may be a nice gesture can make things a whole lot worst and blow things out of proportion. And if tats not bad enuff wat does it say of ur frienship.. cant u even trust the person to handle it..
oh well getting tired of typing for now but yeah something happened to me(in case u haven already guessed)
and well wat im to do bout it haven tot bout it yet..
cos in nutshell when u have frens like this.. there are 2 things i can think of
1)hang in there as a fren and go for the ride wherever it may take u . i mean so wat if they do it to u again, frens must stick together in thick and in thin. who cares if u feel like shit be there as a fren and SOMEHOw things will work out.. or at least they're supposed to.in theory anyway
2) or my personal fav (which have done b4 and worked quite well in past)
chuck friendship back in persons face and basically tell person to stuff it(nicely of course). wats the point in tolerating someone's nonsense if they dun care bout u..
why be there for someone if its only goin to hurt u more and more if u near the person.. this method is not advised for all only hardcore nuts like me who seriously has been burned/had/pushed around and well somehow seem to attract this sort of crap.. i mean in the end who cares whether the person\persons life is goin well/bad watever.. save urself the prob and just cease to care.. sounds hard.. it is but heck i've done it few times and it has worked so far..
whew now realy tired of typing.. to those close friends and pple who know me sorry for offensive writing . to anyone else.. if u have encountered such pple heh if u wan to folo its up to u just dun bloody get cold feet in the end and backtrack cos if u do.. feel sorry for u cos shld have tried in first place if cant live with consequences
Out

2)

heh bit long winded today but tis has really been getting me thinking.. about the frens i have.. its not tat i dun like them or anything.. its just becos they are my frens it hurts me when i c them act the way they do.. plain and simple. i mean if normal pple i encounter randomly get drunk and act like fools, i wouldnt give a rats ass.. but when its someone i know and trust it makes it hard and painfull.. yeah watever call me a sap or weakling i dun give a shit bottom line i care for those around me a lot and be it watever choices they make i cant intervene but i do feel for them each and everytime they fall.. but the worst thing is tat i cant do jack shit bout tat.. cos i cant live their life for them but can only hope tat they make the right choices and if they dun .. well have to live with tat but personally i would rather be by their side than let them stuggle alone.. but hey i cant do miracles but i can be there.. my sudden inspirational thoughts takig shower at 1am haha lame but yeah tats me

Been a while since last post.. not anymore.. today was a breakthrough day for me..it is one of the darkest days of my life here in NZ i assume u r frens/family of mine.. if not .. tough

today i got invited to a party. and since it was a time to meet new people i went.
it was fine in meeting pple but after a while things began to turn dark.. pple were getting drunk out of their wits.. and after a while good portion of pple were drunk.. so as i was sitting there eating chips, drinking life(soft drink) some frens of mine came. as i was there with few other frens didnt really think much of it.. wat happened afterwards sort of shocked the hell out of me and was a bit disturbed by it.. wat followed was rounds and rounds of drinking games.. and to me it was disturbing.. pple i knew as nice , cool happening pple just drank and drank.. and it upset me cos these were the pple i was hanging out with daily. and somehow to c this wasnt making it any easier.. as far as im concerned this would have NEVER happened in singapore.. i have let myself down in tat i has lowered my usually high standard of frens and disrupted the morals tat my parents inculcated to me.

Why do pple do this to themselves.. wat good do they hope to achieve by this..
all i can say was tat i was disgusted and angry tat i just left because i knew if i had stayed i would have gotten more hurt and upset..and wats the point.. hanging with pple u think u know and end up when finding out the truth it hurts
im sorry but for me if i cant accept ur morals, i will let u know.. it hurts to be put thru this but why pple do it is beyond me.. there was another reason which really upset me but its quite personal.. but wat the heck.. there was tis gal i liked for a while and assumed she was nice, interesting and stuff.. but when i saw her tonight drinking , having rounds with drinking games.. i began to wonder to myself.. why do i let myself suffer knowing bout tis? i dunno.. wat happen to the values i set for myself bout the ideal gal? i dunno am im afraid cos i let myself lower the standard i have set and now have to live with it.. She's a nice person but.. why does this have to happen.. why did i have to find out tis way. I suppose its better to know sooner not later but then again .. oh well , tat is another thing tat burned me the most..would appreciate any prayers /encouragement during tis dark time for me here.. tats all for now..

1st week of foundation year has ended and well it has been good.. teachers are good and classmates are nice people/ There is an ideal mix of nationalities with pple from singapore , china , thailand, russia ,new zealand japan and many more.. As slowly the passes, friendships will be strengthened and hopefully not weakened

Alas comes a difficult situation.. what happens as friendship.. seems to evolve into something more .. how then do u know wat is to happen from there? do u contain the feelings u hve to urself and eventually when the person get attached.. suffer in silence ..or would u make ur feelings known and mayb risk everything that has happened. Age old question tat doesnt seem to have an answer but tat is one tat many will face.. heh personally haha i have no idea wat is supposed to happen.. i guess tat is just one of the things pple have to experience themselves to know. as for me, if encounter the situation seriously i have no idea wat to do.. my 2 cents for today