well so much for ol' Andrew trick cant seem to get it to work anymore, guess im prob growing up.. it was childish of me to think of tat as a solution to my prob.. guess i'm finally maturing or at least i hope so lol
interestingly enuff i have a fren who shared some stuff with me and some others recently, it was sort of like a testimony of sorts but then again it could have just been his feelings at the time.
In a nutshell the scary thing was that wat he was going thru was pretty much exactly what i had been going thru last yr. the whole partying aspect and drinking aspect was a part of my life back then and it was a norm for me ever so often. it seemed to be fun at the time but as time passed emptiness began to creep in.. heh after a while i just lived that lifestyle devoid of any purpose and was desperate to get out of it but i was kinda drawn in quite a bit cos most if not all my FY friends were doing it. As a result half of my income was spent on alcohol and other assorted vices; ps not drugs tats just wrong stuff .
but it was only after i got back home and spoke to my dad about it was i able to see past all the 'glamour' of it and realized that the emptiness i felt would never be satisfied by partying or alcohol, rathers it's my walk with God and the close christian friends which would see me through this stage of my life and alcohol will never be able to fill that void.
I mean its not easy for sure i have fallen once or twice back to it but thankfully with God's hand in my life, the road has been manageable and thanx to the awesome pple around me, i'm able to stay on course and live a more meaningful life.

hehe mid week in this break of holidays and can say it has gone pretty well so far.. been trying to update on readings and lectures notes but man weather has been pretty good so far except for today other days had nice sunshine. heh last night was interesting cos i sorta panicked after realizing that my intention for going to missions was wrong and well was on the verge of having a major breakdown crisis but thankfully managed to speak to two of my frens one here and one back home in SG so that sort of helped get me back on track. cos was quite bad because my motive for going for missions well was sort of gd/baddish
cos for one i really wanted to go and help other was tat 2 of my frens were goin.
now that one may/is not goin i dunno whether im going for them or for myself..
advice given was to seek God and there my answer will be ..
which sounds valid enuff..
weirder thing is that how can i base my actions on others, i should live my life my way( GOd's way but thru me of course hehe just tot shld add that in )
so at this point trip is i dunno still gotta seek answers and guidance from those close to me.
with regards to " other problems" that arise.. guess have to do and 'ol' andrew trick and buzz off from hehe..

hmm what has been happening.. well its mid semester brk so 1 week to fully concentrate on studying which it wat i shld be doing and am trying to but then again with so much time my dreaded foe has returned.. deep thinking sigh.. whenever i have too much time on my hands this always seem to happen. heh busier i am less likely to bother but this seems to be the trend at this stage. well for one have heaps of readings to do so that shld take up most of time but then again there are its odd moments of self reflection. For anyone who even reads this well , relationships wise haha after so many years being around ,.. haha i'm still quite hopeless at it.. just when i tot i was able to move on again.. something else came in my way.. and now haha that also seems to have a dead end.. so much for finding someone at this stage of my life haha..
Hope its not a sign that ill remain a single guy for rest of my life cos well track record doesnt seem to good at this stage. church wise im having a blast so many pple around that i haven actually had much time to spend with but nonetheless everyone is awesome.. a bit sad that next year many will be gone tho. lifegrp so far is awesome haven had in depth sharing for quite a while so tat aspect is quite refreshing. TAWG wise bit stagnant but trying to improve tat aspect learnt quite a bit last night from night church on how to read and understand the bible which was for me quite useful. hehe
other than tat looking forward to heading home at end of yr and well still trying to figure out how to prepare self for missions trip next year.. so far in a nutshell this has been wats goin on in the life of APL
outz