today the 3rd of Dec, is a monumental day for me. Or I think it is anyway. During my afternoon run, I realized that i have been falling away from God because of my stubborn-ness and insistance on doing things my way. So during the run, I recommitted my life back to christ and all the years i have spent endlessly drifting and doing things my own way i put behind me.
God has blessed me with a wonderful bunch of people who have been around me, shaping me to be the person i am. But the road has not always been easy and as such have been an idiot to some of them, and i truly am sorry. My actions Are my responsibility and its juvenile to think that im in things alone. I should NOT take out my frustrations on the people around me. for all the times, i have worn my emotions on my face, im sorry guys that u had to put up with it. despite being 26, i still have a long way to go in terms of controlling my emotions and thanks for putting up with me all this time. im really sorry for all the pple i have hurt during the space of these few weeks, i have not had my head on straight and i assure you, that im better now. Today i choose to man up and choose the path to be a better man in God's eyes. No doubt the journney will be rough but i will persist because i refuse to remain a boy but to grow into a man that will lead my family alongside Christ.

hmm third day of summer and the night is freezing.. hell of a way to kick of summer haha
in terms of life wise, well things are pretty good, there's still pple to hang out with in dunedin (thankfully) so glad to say enjoying community time. This evening had music prac for jess's daughters dedication service next fri so i think that went well. Love ministering with the team ( or what's left of it ). Watched saving pte ryan but fell asleep partway haha cos it was a really really long movie haha. only hitch today was well something which kinda ticked me off just a weebit tonight and well that set up for a rather uncomfortable time with some of the peeps. Due to circumstances that occured something set me off and i ended up being quiet for most of night ( which under normal circumstances would be good =P ) but in this case, wasnt very appropriate. The thing about me is that i kinda wear emotions on my face so if im agitated or annoyed, the whole world would know cos my face turns pitch black and well it made for a rather.. hmm sucky demeanour. So for good portion of the night was a twit and well kinda feel bad bout it. I really have to somehow stop displaying my emotions on my face cos tat kinda immature and childish. Hey despite my 26 years on earth, i guess somethings take longer to change than others.
funny thing is that after i had time to cool off, and oddly enough after watching saving pte ryan, managed to regain control of my head and feel at peace. or at least something like that heh. Respects to men out there who are able to look like everything is fine despite having circumstances fall apart. If that happened to me, GG would describe it aptly. Having a 'pokerface' literally would be kinda handy altho that could bring its own set of problems haha
Job hunt wise is crap and nothing has appeared on SJS so whilst am looking for job cant wait for family to come in 10 days.~~!!!
mom, dad and becks together with becky's godparents are coming =)
cant wait for family to be back together again heh
ok its 312am.. think its time to sleep.. blog again soon
APL